My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
