you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I enjoy the company of your penis
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
