chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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