My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
