when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
