Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
