your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish I could punch you in the face.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize