He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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