Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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