after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
