Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
