After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
