you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
