Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
worst night to have a conscience
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
