I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
