Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
