he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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