so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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