You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
