Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
