i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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