hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
