No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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