Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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