i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
