oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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