it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
