Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
