About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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