lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
