remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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