Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
