im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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