how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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