you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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