So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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