Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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