I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
