"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
