there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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