this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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