I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
