Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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