Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
