Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
