Redeem this text for a blowjob
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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