new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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