do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
