Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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