Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
