Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
