Ambien. No doubt about it.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
