you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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