ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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