My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
