worst night to have a conscience
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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