I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
