Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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